Jailed For Love - Life After Prison, A True Story

I have been attempting to write this story since 2 months, tried various options to get to the jail authorities and lawyers but nobody wants to talk about it. Any conversation regarding the rights of the prisoners sparks a debate, ‘why should we worry about them?' agreed, but what about the ones who are being punished due to a delay in judgement and spend years being an under trial. Our society does not forgive them even after they have served their term for being guilty. In most cases even their own families avoid contact and support. 

Life Hack: There is a strong nexus of unspoken politics, crime, and bribe that exists within these jails you have to really ‘up’ your survival game. 

This is the story of Nagma (name changed), she was married at the age of 22 in UP. “Amitabh Bachchan was also born in Allahabad, but his kismet made him a super star and mine made me a criminal”.  I asked her the reason and she replied in a very poetic yet tragic tone “Pyaar Ke Liye”, I wanted a good life with my husband, he introduced me to an easy way of making money, initially I smuggled small packets of drugs unaware but by the time I realised the mess, it was too late. As time progressed he got very abusive and difficult, I was balancing guilt, a new born child and a drunk husband at the same time. 

Then something I feared for months finally happened, I was caught in a big raid which turned my life upside down. If you are seized, you are left on your own nobody comes forward, even my husband left me with the fear of getting caught himself. 

Nagma spent almost 5 years in the prison, out of which 2 years were under trial. Her daughter was with her throughout as she was completely dependant on her. According to the Indian jurisdiction, the child can accompany the mother in the jail till the age of 6years. “ I do not know if it was good or bad” my daughter was raised behind the bars, for no fault of hers. She was fed and looked after better than my relatives would but she thinks, jail is her real home because no one talks to us when we are free. 

Nagma’s story is a reflection of what most of these women go through once they are released from the prison. I really believe in letting people recover emotionally, just because you did something bad, doesn't mean you are a bad person. We need to give them opportunities to reintegrate with the society. Nagma is going to help me (PhotoblogHER) with body positive workshops in schools, she wants to be a part of the society in a constructive way in the hope that this might give her daughter a normal childhood. 

We judge people too soon, every struggle always has a reason, she committed the crime for the love of her life and now she wants to be a better person for the love of her child. If they are willing to make a positive change give them a chance because no one is perfect. 
*****
Nagma's story was covered by C4N News and Speaking Tree, within 24 hours I received emails from readers across India who genuinely wanted to help them. One of them has offered to help her daughter with education and child development. Every step in the right direction deserves an applause.

C4N News Link: http://bit.ly/1TXB2K2
  

Fighting Body Shaming With PhotoblogHER

#PhotoblogHER, it is my attempt to talk about 'positive body image'. I combine art and activism to strike a conversation about body positivity. Take everything that is bright within you and introduce it someone. As privileged strong women we should take ownership and inspire the next generation to live fearlessly. Women are very focused when they are vulnerable because they anticipate fear, using this as the base I work on projects that actively manifest female embodiment and strength. 

PhotoblogHER disrupts the status quo, speaks the truth, ruffles stereotypes and encourages change. A woman should never have to apologise for her glory.

Life Hack: When a woman stands up for herself, she represents the entire race. 

Recently The Better India featured stories and photographs by PhotoblogHER, in a world where bloggers promote 'perfection' to take a stand against it and celebrate vulnerabilities is a tough call, but I am committed. 

  

Thanks for the troll, I was famous by default

I recently blogged about a story related to child abuse in Mumbai brothels, it is a sincere a story and brings out some harsh realities of our society. I personally went through lot of internal conflict before putting it on the blog, considering it was risky but if my stories don’t make you think what is the point of this tremendous reach. Last week the same story was featured on one of India’s popular youth networks, it was all fine till I started getting personally attacked on my social media channels for being politically involved, being a feminist, having a religious preference, they even disapproved my hairstyle :/

The story has an important lesson which should be shared, hiding from reality does not make it disappear. Sad, how some people refuse to see the bigger picture and continue thinking mediocre. 

Life Hack: Trolling by definition, is someone who creates conflict by posting messages that are controversial and personal, they usually attack in groups to upset your sanity.

It was iconic because Anushka Sharma (Virat Kohli), Honey Singh (Bipolar and Alcoholism) and Pooja Kochar (no reason) were trolled on the same day. It is amazing how people miss the point and take off on their own tangent. As an individual I refuse to respond to trolls, but as a brand 30ish stands for authentic story telling, my fight is to keep blogging real and, "this makes your social trolling irrelevant to me". I refuse to feed the troll, and encourage negativity.

  

Mumbai Fire Brigade: Do you have the fire within?

The stage burst into flames during the “Make In India” flagship event. There were around 25000 people including artists, horses along with top political leaders and film stars in the line of fire. No casualties but a massive loss of reputation for our government. When everyone was running out and being escorted to safer enclosures, the only team that ran inside to face the flames was the ‘Mumbai Fire Brigade’. Fire fighters go through hours of training and rigorous drills to anticipate danger but their real gut is visible when you watch them lead a rescue operation.

Life Hack: When fire ruins a house the most precious things lost are memories. 
Beware, be aware.

This blog is officially endorsed by the Mumbai Chief Fire Officer Prabhat Rahangdale, the Vlog collaboration has been shot at the Mumbai Fire Brigade head quarters in Byculla. 

Safe rescue of trapped people is the first task assigned to the fire fighters, this is extremely risky and life threatening. They stand for courage and sacrifice, 30ish wanted to bring out their story and understand what goes on inside the mind of a fire fighter. We as citizens take fire safety for granted, its time we get more alert.

This video is a part of Mohit Rao’s series on mind reading, in collaboration with 30ish #WhoseMindNext

Great leadership flows from the top, Mr. Rahangdale is a man with a vision and a very progressive outlook towards public service. He has initiated the fire volunteer training with a goal to train 6000 citizens by mid 2016 ensuring that each fire station will have 200 volunteers raring to go. You can also enrol for this initiative, all the details are available on the official site of the Mumbai Fire Brigade.

Special Thanks to Mumbai Fire Department for keeping us safe

  

You & Me - The YouTube Route

You will be, what you think. THINK AWESOME!

Do things, before you are ready. Remember the world responds to action, not planning. Here’s a story that will inspire you to jump the curve.

Life Hack: Forget the facts, remember the feeling and chase everything that excites your soul.

When the world was restricted to conventional content (words) a company challenged the big boys.

YouTube seems to have been around forever, but has actually only been around since 2005 before being sold in 2007 for 1.65 billion US dollars. Started by 3 friends who changed the way we consume entertainment. 

In fact YouTube made no profit and violated copyrights until google stepped up and decided to buy the venture and revamp it’s strategy. They realised the potential of content created by user’s and empowered various digital celebrities. Creativity trapped in urban and rural geographies are now free to be heard and viewed by millions by one subscribe option. I endorse everything that support’s progressive growth and potential of human connectivity. 

Yes, we are being mentored by a brand that has changed the way we learn and share information.You & Me will be creating some great original content together. #YouTubeSpaceMumbai is an excellent learning curve for our Vlog vertical, in fact it is going to be a deal breaker for 30ish.

**SUBSCRIBE**

  

Beauty is fearless, not flawless #Vlog

I wrote the worst essays in school, mixing all the optional topics and making one story out of it was my kick. My Mother, Summer Vacations and If I was the Prime Minister for a day, were all a part of the same narrative.This is precisely my writing style till date, I like connecting dots.

There’s no logic, no business model, no strategy to my work, but I build it from the most authentic part of my soul .The only P* that works for an entrepreneur is Persistence. No blogger can exist in isolation, you are a part of every step forward.

Life Hack: To understand digital, you have to live digital. 

Indian blogging is a billion dollar industry when combined with e-commerce. The success of any blog is measured in terms of the number of high profile brands they showcase, but what if someone refuses to be perfect?

There are at least 100 failures behind every glorified step. Living like a nomad has given me the courage to exist without inhibitions because real beauty is fearless, not flawless.
  

Love Bytes - Mira Savoor fights domestic violence.

Romantic - He loves me, he loves me not. Tragic - He loves me, still beats me a lot. 

We talk to a fighter, applaud her audacity to come forward and break the silence at the age of 83.

Life Hack: Love shouldn’t hurt.

When we started with the interview she was numb, but as the conversation got serious our camera started capturing her true strength of character. Mira was married at the age of 18 to a handsome army officer. They made a picture perfect couple to the world, but the reality of this marriage was outlined with grudge. Every night Mira was emotionally and physically tortured for reasons unknown to her.

"He would beat me with thick ammunition boots"

She lived in fear for 30 years, until one night when something pushed her out of that nightmare. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement that there is something more dangerous.

We tried a social experiment with Mira, by using dissociative reality. This was facilitated using mind reading technique of transmitting our consciousness to deal with trauma. It is used as a healing therapy for someone who has gone through negativity over a long period of time. After a few sessions, the mind starts detaching itself from the trauma leading to a positive outlook. This social experiment has been performed by Mohit Rao.

Everyone wants to know why didn't she leave, well because most of the victims are in denial for the longest time. The next phase is isolation which leads to loss in the ability to fight. So next time you take pride and think “I would have walked out”, please empathise with their reality. It is far more scary than you think. 

What hurts most is not the words of an enemy but the silence of our friends. Do not be a bystander. 

Domestic Violence is not a women’s issue but a man’s issue. If men start taking this up with authority, it could lead to a progressive change. I can challenge a real man will not be offended with the previous statement. 

Mira will give any 30ish complex, in terms of her zest for life. She raised 2 beautiful and confident daughters, they live on their own terms and share a great bond. Abuse exists in silence, the very first part in healing is shattering the silence. Mira's story needs to be shared, discussed with your young children because our society needs a voice that revolts against injustice. No one has the right to beat you, rape you or abuse you. Ask for help, it will only get worse. 
Leave your comments, you might inspire someone to speak up.


#YouthKiAwaaz features 30ish
  

Website Link: http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2015/11/domestic-violence-story-of-a-survivor/

30ish & MARD

This post has been published in our column "On the 30ish Slope" in #LivingLocal, November Issue. It is also a tribute to #NoShaveNovember where men worldwide are doing their bit by embracing their hair.(cancer patients suffer hair loss during treatment),they will be donating the money typically spent on grooming to support cancer treatment. 30ish is giving men the benefit of doubt, and hoping this is not a lazy excuse to not shave!

Couple of decades back, a typical “MARD” was someone very macho. A strong man who fought goons to protect his damsel in distress. This generation cheered every time Amitabh Bachchan screamed,‘Mard ko dard nahi hota”.The definition has gone through various iterations, MARD in 2015 is a progressive man who cheers for his woman every time she wins, shares responsibility, isn't conscious  about being sensitive and stands with her through tough decisions.

#Life Hack: Real MARD will flaunt a bigger heart than muscles. 

This post is not about what women expect from men but about all those men, who in their own way want to tell women that they respect us. I know so many men who are a “True Gentleman” and treat us right. My blog is perceived as being feminine but its surprising that 50% of the readers are men who feel as strongly about issues affecting women.

These men are amongst us, our dad, brothers, spouse, partner, sons, friends and we love them. Men and women think differently but we balance each other, thats the beauty of relationships. As a social influencer, I suggest when you make us laugh, we find you 100077873987 times more attractive. Yes, I am an independent woman of the new millennium and I accept this without any bias, happy men make happier women.

Every time these real men stand with us, support us and wear pink to amuse us, our heart smile’s. After all being a gentleman never goes out of fashion.
  

Dil*wali Diwali

Airports are packed, everyone is trying to get home. Online portals and App's are promising best deals, crazy jams are making sure you spend maximum time being “30ish and stuck in traffic”. 

Imagine a hypothetical situation, what if lord Rama was returning from his exile in 2015 (2001 to 2015). He would definitely be offered a wild card entry into BigBoss season 9 because they need to jumpstart TRP’s. Sita’s entry song would be “Prem Ratan Dhan Payo” and her jewellery will be sponsored by TBZ. Snap Deal, Amazon and Pepper Fry will be event partners. Google Maps shall track his exact location. How confused Rama would be? India has changed drastically in 14 years of his absence, we are embracing consumerism in full glory.

Life Hack

Dimaag - Mere paas saare amazing patake hai.

Dil - Mere pass maachis hai beta

Blogger’s are pushing products left, right and centre for diwali discounts, I refuse to join the band wagon because there is no discount for a blog that talks deeper than fashion and lifestyle. So, 30ish is going to talk to you about a Real Deal - I mean Real Dil :D 

This Diwali, follow your heart. If there was this one thing that was always on your bucket list but never got real, sort that. Let the rocket of your dreams take off, gift yourself the courage to dream big.

Blogger’s are pushing products left, right and centre for diwali discounts, I refuse to join the band wagon because there is no discount for a blog that talks deeper than fashion and lifestyle. So, 30ish is going to talk to you about a Real Deal - I mean Real Dil :D 

This Diwali, follow your heart. If there was this one thing that was always on your bucket list but never got real, sort that. Let the rocket of your dreams take off, gift yourself the courage to dream big.

Statutory Warning: This post is not sponsored by Big Boss, Snapdeal, Amazon, Pepperfry, TBZ, Google or Salman Khan. It's a property of Mumbai traffic jams, because that’s what sparked this IDEA. No no, Idea Cellular hasn’t sponsored it either. You get the drift!
  

Desi Road Trip - National Highway 1A Jammu

First rule of any road trip is to have an open heart, currently on National Highway 1A exploring Jammu. One of the places I visited on this route was Vaishnodevi. Not religious but I believe in the power of positivity and spirituality

Life Hack: This post is a personal interpretation. Don’t judge my words dive deeper into the context, there is a hidden message.

Every North Indian child is taken to this holy shrine at some point in life, my first memory was as a 6 year old who was made to climb on a Pithoo (a human carrying kids/luggage)As a child I loved the ride, it gave me a better view of the valley but when I think of it now, seems quite unfair!

Devotees trek for 4-7 hrs, one way(depending on your speed)in extreme weather conditions. Nothing stops them, each one is convinced that they will complete the journey and surprisingly they do. Human spirit is challenged and the winner is each ones “will power”. What if we focused all the dedication towards overcoming the hurdles within our mind. She will guide you if you are willing to be brave.

As I stood in front of the devi, I was numb. Everyone around me was zoned out, as if they just met her, but in my head I was fighting a conflict. On the way back, I decided to trek to Katra alone and unlock this mystery within. I could feel how different parts of my personality which had baffled me at times were in fact her manifestation in all human beings. Every time I decided to stand for myself irrespective of the consequences (Durga). When I decided to take up my new journey fearlessly (Kali) and thats when I felt a real connection. 

• After completing the trek, grab some hot rajma chawal. It is the ultimate carb load, like you earned it!

• Organic almonds and walnuts available in the local markets are a must buy.

• There is no signal for prepaid sim cards, so make sure two of you in the group have a post paid card, for safety purpose.

• If you love animals, your heart will break on how horses are treated. They lead a real tough life carrying humans and construction material.

She would never want you to suffer, to reach out to her.

She stands for strength that guides every decision you take, she is within you. #BetOnYourself

Road Tripper's Perspective

For those who do not know the mythological connect

Located on the peaks of Trikuta, the holy cave of the goddess has an interesting legend. It is believed that several centuries ago, a selfish demon known as Bhairon Nath started chasing a young girl named Vaishno Devi, who was the reincarnation of the mother goddess and an ardent devotee of Lord Shiva. She meditated for nine months in a cave known as ‘Garbh Joon’ before being disrupted by Bhairon. She was then compelled to take the form of Kali and behead the demon.
  

30ish on YouTube - Oh My Vlog!

We are very protective about the commitment we make to ourselves. 30ish getting on YouTube is a promise I made to myself. Growth is the only option I have.

#LifeHack: Mumbai gives me strength of character, its a reflection of my choices in life. Every city has a word that perfectly defines it, the word for Mumbai is Alive! 30ish getting on Youtube is my most gangster move :D 

My one man army!

Thanks Studio Unplugged for making me sound better than Taylor Swift :D

*Love *Share *Subscribe (plug your earphones)

How did we shoot? I am going to call this section “Shooting, Not Allowed Madame”.

Me : Sir (Cop/Pandu), I want to record a 2 minute footage (Marine Drive)

Cop: Director Kaun? - Me

Cop: Heroin Kaun? Me

Cop: Producer Kaun? - Me (disbelief)

Cop:"Madame, Shooting NAUGHT (not) Allowed". I faced this at every location.

There is a war tactic called guerrilla warfare, where you fight with everything and anything. Face the bullet with a stone, because thats what you have. The locations covered during the shoot are highly guarded, super crowded, imagine how chaotic the shoot must be. I do not have the backing of ‘travel and living’, yet! (someday I wish to) no assistant directors, editors or high tech crew, just an insane desire to take the blog to the next level. #BetOnYourself

Technique of shooting : Hidden cameras, candid shots, natural lighting, no makeup, nothing glossy, Mumbai portrayed in its complete rawness. I wished to look glamorous but every time the cop took a break from his duty, the choice was between the 'perfect look and the perfect shot'.

The purpose of this city is to be the light and its vibe absolutely ELECTRIC. Mumbai is infinite that’s what I wish for 30ish. All my readers are a part of this journey, my only gratification is your love so replace your silent smiles with loud whistles and noisy high fives :)

This Vlog is powered by Life In Lens, they debut in the space of video content with #MumbaiAlive.    They are coming on board as our Vlog partner, super exciting video's in the pipeline.

Check their work -Life In Lens Profile

***CONTEST ALERT***@DoodleCollection is our merchandise partner for this post.

Check their quirky designs DoodleCollection Profile #JoyOfWriting

6 lucky winner's will win quirky note books. 

Leave a comment on 30ish FB page/ Blog (below) or YouTube Link,3 words that represent Mumbai for you.